It was a spur of the moment thing, I’d suggested on several occasions that it might be a good introduction for Tanya to Smokey in the relative safety and convenience of a local canal trip.

Tanya suddenly found a free weekend so on the Friday evening I frantically prepared for the trip. With sails not required on the canal I removed all the surplus gear to make more space but still couldn’t find room for the television, dishwasher or kitchen sink.

Tanya didn’t take long to make the cabin nice and cosy though.

The ramp at ‘Moons Bridge’ marina by the canal did not open till 09:30 so we had plenty of time but still it was 10:00 before we got there. Although we tried our best I couldn’t help feeling that our launch programme was the main entertainment event of the day. I thought it went reasonably well, I was the only one that got wet, the engine started no problem and we didn’t hit a single boat on the way out of the marina.

Using The Complete Guide to the Lancaster Canal purchased for £5 at the marina and as suggested we turned right onto the canal heading North. After the excitement and exhaustion of the launch and having passed under a few canal bridges we needed to decide whether to stop for a cup of tea on the boat or a beer at the next convenient pub.

The White Horse it was then, only a few more bridges to go, but on arrival we found nowhere suitable to moor and a much too far 600mtr walk besides it would be nicer to find a canal side establishment. We then recognised a popular regular haunt ‘Owd Nells’ but decided it was too popular and not wanting to embarrass ourselves demonstrating newly acquired mooring techniques we motored on waving.

Our mounting thirst and a few more hundred yards forced us to stop at a canal side watering hole ‘The White Bull’ advertising traditional Theakstons bitter. As it was not the warm, inviting, picturesque location expected we soon climbed back on board and drank on the boat under steam, how civilised! Perhaps we’ll return the glasses on the way back.

Establishing our ‘canal legs’ we just meandered along for a while enjoying the peace and quiet and tranquillity of the changing country scenery including passing by the back garden of a walking and cycling partner and ex colleague of mine, then a little later another ex colleague/ex boss celebrating his wife’s 40^th birthday on a hired canal launch.

I suppose it was too much to ask to go the weekend without fitting a visit to the shops somewhere along the way. This was provided by the Bridge House Marina at Garstang but it did give us the opportunity of practising our reversing and mooring skills. We also bought some much needed larger new white fenders for Smokey. We watched a couple of pensioners launch a small canoe and paddled away before returning to the boat.

Our initial thoughts were to reach Galgate where we knew of a nice little canal side café that sold a good selection of extremely nice home made cakes. The progress was a lot slower than we anticipated and with the fuel tank starting to look a little empty, our new target was a small garage at a place called Winmarleigh.

The hand written sign on the garage door said ‘closed all day Saturday 6^th July’ that was today! But I am lucky sometimes, I introduced myself to Dave who hired small launches for day trips on the canal and paid over the odds for his last spare 5 litres of fuel. Re-fuelled with petrol and another cup of tea we decided enough was enough and headed back home.

I could sense that Tanya was getting hungry and suffering from alcohol withdrawal symptoms so I reluctantly agreed that we could moor up near a canal side bar & restaurant where I could revive her then collapse on the boat for the night.

I might know just the place.

The ‘Old Tithe Barn’ had character, predated the canal by 100 years and built of brick, a rarely used material of the time but now a restaurant with old industrial and agricultural artefacts hanging from the roof and walls. The seating arrangement was long communal tables with benches and we joined a group on the end of one table soon realising they were canal boaters. They were discussing a strange little green thing moored next to them that was a complete stranger to these waters, we continued listening, kept our heads down, enjoyed the meal and the drinks but later confessed to being the proud owners.

I was stopped on the way out by another boater who recognised a boat when he saw one and informed me of a silhouette moored at the top end of the canal that as far as he knew had never moved for ages. Maybe we should take a look.

The makeshift tent using plastic downpipe for the ridge pole wasn’t too pretty but worked a treat and after a last cup of hot tea we snuggled down for the night with sleep delayed only until the noise of the floating stag party disappeared out of earshot. The only other interruption being for natural necessities whereupon Tanya added a more up market toilet to our shopping list, (the buckit & chuckit facility not acceptable).

I got up, dressed early (07:00) and strolled down the towpath, I have to admit in preference to using the bucket. Looking over the Wyre aquaduct I recognised the 14th green of Garstang Golf and Country Club that I have played a few times. This reminded me I still need to decide if sailing is going to replace Golf. A tough decision!

It seemed a good idea to make headway while the neighbours were still asleep before they became jealous of our ‘little green thing’.

As we were already on the way back, our ETA at the Moons Bridge Marina was about 12:00 even though we decided not to be any later than 15:00. The ETA in danger of being earlier especially with Tanya at the helm winding the throttle up to Warp 5.

We stopped for a late breakfast (comprised of the remaining sandwiches Tanya had prepared earlier) in an open area of the countryside just before Brock aquaduct and of course another nice cup of tea. I took a few more photographs for the record and set off.

We reached the slipway at Moons Bridge relatively easy and again without hitting a single boat, moored up and prepared the trailer. We decided that I was the only one going to get wet again so I waded down the slipway to guide Smokey onto the trailer while Tanya operated the car. Then it all happened!

We demonstrated the quickest and easiest method of launching from trailer onto a dry slipway. It was all my fault of course. As soon as I gave Tanya the signal to drag Smokey out of the water the ratchet locking mechanism on the trailer winch decided to break free and the handle spun round like crazy, the front of the trailer sprung up in the air and deposited the boat on the slipway with a few horrible scraping noises. I feared the worst, but fortunately, apart from a couple of minor scratches on the stem and under the rudder all seemed to be O.K.

I have to admit I panicked, ran around like a headless chicken and soon ran out of ideas of how to get the boat back on to the trailer. Somehow we had to get Smokey back into the water.

The embarrassment and the show being over help was soon at hand and we dragged the boat back down the slipway and made extra precautions this time by securing Smokey onto the trailer before pulling out of the water.

With lessons learned and a few more experiences under out belt we quickly made tracks after confiscating all the ‘You’ve Been Framed’ video cameras.

Maybe sailing might prove more successful?